In My Beauty, fashion and culture’s most compelling faces reveal in their own words what beauty means to them
Simply put, ALA.NI isn’t interested in your interpretation of who she should be. Got it? Great. The rich, delicious jazz vocals of this West London-born performer have developed a global cult following, no doubt due to her ferocious commitment to individuality. From top to bottom, her work is entirely self-directed – she writes her own music, produces and directs her own videos, and she will soon be incorporating her long history with and passion for dance into a whole new expression of performance, connecting sound and movement. From her all-natural skin protocol, to her intimate, autobiographical lyrics, ALA.NI reveals her unapologetic approach to being herself.
“I went to a predominantly white theatre school from the age of 5–16. Outside of school, I would just be me. People had a problem with that because they thought – and still think – that because I speak the way I do that I think I’m better than them. Are you saying I have to speak in a certain vernacular that makes me ‘black’? What the fuck is ‘being black’? I’m not black. I’m ALA.NI. I’m a woman. If you want to place a colour on me you deal with what you think it should be. Don’t trap me in it because you think I should be a certain way.”
“When I was doing backup singing, a lot of people were from the church. When I auditioned, they wanted a different thing and I don’t do that. So, they’d tell me I didn’t get the part because I sounded ‘too English.’ Are you saying only black people can have soul? That’s a whole different debate here, now. The whole colour thing…I know we feel like we have to put things in boxes, but that did stop me for a long time. It was one comment, but it’s still in my head. ‘What kind of music do you sing?’ I get that question a lot. ‘Reggae? R&B? Soul?’ I don’t answer that question. I can give something different that isn’t expected that maybe we, as black people, haven’t even thought in our imaginations we could be.”
“ I can’t be told how to look. I can’t be told how to sound. I have to serve myself. The more you serve yourself, the more people accept you. The more accepted you are, the more embraced you are for being yourself. I never thought it would be like that. ”
“It’s such hard work, I couldn’t face it not being able to be myself. I can’t be told how to look. I can’t be told how to sound. I have to serve myself. The more you serve yourself, the more people accept you. The more accepted you are, the more embraced you are for being yourself. I never thought it would be like that. This is how I trained to sing. In musical theatre, I wanted to sing and be like Julie Andrews. I still do! I’m going to be the first black Maria.”
“I trained to be a ballet dancer. I wanted to go to Alvin Ailey – that was my plan. I discovered I could sing a lot later on, and I knew I could have a longer career if I sang instead of danced. But I’d like to incorporate more movement into my music. I’m still trying to be brave enough to do it because anyone can dance around, but when you connect sound and movement…it took me ages to be able to sing without thinking of technique. I had to unlearn technique and just follow my heart. Trusting that even if it doesn’t come out right, it’s OK. It’s gone. It’s a moment. I haven’t quite got that yet with my dancing. I spend hours at home practicing in front of the mirror…‘Just let go!’”
“ I don’t wear makeup, apart from eye liner and a bit of mascara…When I do have my makeup done properly, I love the transformation. ‘This is not the person I woke up with,’ I think, ‘but I can hang with her.’ ”
“I don’t wear makeup, apart from eye liner and a bit of mascara. I try not to put anything on my body that I can’t eat. I use a bit of cleansing cream, rose oil and coconut oil in my food, skin, hair and to brush my teeth. I don’t wear foundation and powder, and I use witch hazel as an astringent to clean any dirt. You can get into a cycle where your skin is dry so you put makeup on, and then you take it off and it removes all the natural oils. And then your skin never gets to breathe and then you get wrinkles, and you have to use another cream and you’re creating the problem. When I do have my makeup done properly, I love the transformation. ‘This is not the person I woke up with,’ I think, ‘but I can hang with her.’”
“One of my nicknames is 'Eagle Eye,' as I have 20/20 vision and see a lot of detail in my surroundings – sometimes too much. It took me a long time to realize that. I do struggle with that view, in the sense of sharing it on social media, because it feels very personal. [Social media] is very quick and instant, and I’m not really an instant person. Art and ‘instantism’ – I can’t align those two things together. If I did it for a quick buck, yeah, but this is my life and career. My heart and soul.”
“If there’s a place I wish I could have been in history, it’s the first Woodstock. I want to be the girl – naked with the long hair, Native American mixed with a bit of Dutch, beautiful cheekbones, beautiful smile, daisy chain – just dancing. And then Bob Dylan and Crosby, Stills & Nash are like, ‘Come and hang with us!’ I just want to be that girl. She doesn’t talk, but you always see her.”